Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Open Letter to the Blogosphere

Hello ladies, its been a while since we’ve had a chance to chat. 

That’s my bad, I’ve been super busy being the mastermind behind, well everything. Its really time-consuming being the embodiment of all the crap you guys say. 

As you can tell I haven’t posted much lately. I sorta like fucking with you guys since your blogs are basically blogs about my blog or me. So I thought it would be fun to watch you guys give each other reach-arounds while you wait for me to create new content so you can have something to write about. 

As luck would have it, you guys have gotten yourselves into quite the pickle lately. Mostly because of how silly you guys look trying to spin. 

So lets talk text messages shall we?

First of all none of you idiots can seem to actually get the order of things or understand who is saying what. Or maybe because its not written in crayon. So let me help you dumb asses out. 

I never said anything about Cortney’s looks. That was Vince, not me and he was defending Ordaz because someone, another woman no less, was saying that she won by a large margin in her election and expected special treatment because she's a pretty face with a big win margin.

So excuse me if I think your collective spin effort at writing Rep Ordaz's political obituary is laugh out-loud silly considering you guys can't even get basic facts right.

But my favorite thing I've heard you stooges say recently is David Karlsruher of Refuse the Truth, calling the release of text messages the biggest story in a decade.

Seriously, he said that. You'd think he was broadcasting the explosion of the Hindenburg over Fox Plaza.

Just kidding, he's never been anywhere near Fox Plaza.

Oh the humanity!

Ordaz's texts about the MPO, the chupacabra, and a puppy ordinance are the biggest story in a decade?

Really David K? Are you hitting the sticky-icky?

The rise of Isis, disappearance of a Malaysian Airliner, police violence, the economy, the outbreak of Ebola, the capture and death of Usama Bin Laden...those stories all pale in comparison to text messages from Ordaz?

But hey, David K is always good for a healthy dose of hyperbole and hypocrisy.

I mean lets be real, this isn't the first time David K has stomped his feet and held his breath in order for someone to pay attention to him on something he perceives as a big deal. Remember the temper tantrum he threw about the Friends of Peter Svarzbein? He totally lost his shit over it and was furious that no one cared.

I guess David gets a little dizzy with all that spinning and is forgetful of his own words sometimes (like Dory from Finding Nemo, Just Keep Spinning, just keep spinning...)because he said something else recently that made me laugh.

Dizzy Dave said that City Attorney Sylvia Firth outsmarted Ordaz.

Lets for a moment pretend that is true. It implies that the city attorney is adversarial to her clients. Not sure that is really the message Dizzy Dave wants to imply but he did nonetheless.

But it got me to start thinking about ol' Dizzy Dave and Firth. You see there was a time that he wasn't holding pom-poms for her like he is now. Back when Niland wanted her out, there was some not-so nice things said about her. By none other than Dizzy Dave himself no less.

So Firth things Firth....

Remember the time he said Firth and the Mayor were behind all the problems at city hall with the city manager selection (cue the ol'timey memory sequence...)

Or how about the time he all but accused Firth of breaking the law?

Actually I'm surprised he didn't get sued (again) for that one since he said "we know".

But now he's holding her pom-poms....

All that spinning has made the blogosphere absolutely dizzy.

Before I let you go back to blogging about me I thought I'd include a little video, mostly because I know how hard Fallas Paredes finds reading to be. I know buddy, all those letters on the screen can be so confusing...

Your Pal,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Epinc put out an interesting article let's see if refusethetruth & the other followers write about the real story of what's going on at city council, I dare you David & Ali and hey Martin you could put it in a nice clean timeline for us.